Pumpkin Day

ok... who has it? charlie brown pumpkin movie thing? gotta see it. about to make pies!

so i had to wait at the bus stop in the cold for about 40min last night on my way home from class. i had patty griffin in my ears and car tires screeching in front of me. my breathe was like smoke coming from my nose. and i had a really strong urge to pray for a family. i didn't know what to pray for them because there was so much that i could pray for. it was like, where do i start? i didn't want to just ramble to God something impersonal that i always hear others praying for. i didn't want to ramble about some mysteries that i didn't understand but pretended to understand. i kept hashing away at my thoughts and i finally got to the bottom of it.

hope... i longed for hope for them.

i longed that they would find love. i longed that they would find peace. i longed that they would find hope.

as a christian there's a sunday school answer for these things... jesus. but if you tried to argue a theological point with me i'd be like... whatever. i'd write you off as being naive and opinionated (i am postmodern after all). but at the same time, i recognize that at the end of the day, what little hope for anything that i have, i put it in God and Jesus--these two figures of the Christian faith. i don't understand it. i don't perceive it. i don't fully know their ways, but i still put my hope in them each day because i have a little faith that dares to trust that Jesus is truth. Jesus is hope. Jesus is love. and Jesus is peace.

back to my friends... maybe they won't be healed. maybe they won't be told again. maybe i have too little faith. who knows. but i long that they would find love. i long that they would find peace. i long that they would find hope because if they do, then i know they've found the one thing they've always been looking for.