lifts and elevators: May 2009

It seems that our generations are struggling. We freak out at the thought of commitment.

Marriage?! Ahhh...

Dating isn't simple. It's not about a guy and a girl who like each other. Suddenly it's become a tortuous task of seeking to see if this person is the perfect fit to this one place in your heart. And if that person is the perfect fit, God's chosen one, The One, then we think that it will be ok. We think that as long as we find the right person that terrible things like divorce or sexual impurity or porn or adultery or just plain ole boredom won't find us in our marriages.

To Pursue...
That's a word that we hear a lot these days. These Christian books that we read about dating and relationships and the way our hearts work seem to paint a picture like Princess Bride... As yoooouuu wiiiiisssshhhhh....

I Feel Like An Old Woman... somedays. I feel like I've traveled so much and seen so much and most of it has been on my own. I find myself tired of the thought of having to pack and wait on trains or planes or automobiles. ha. I dread the sound of the chimes as the announcer announces something in the stations. I dread the waiting. The ticking of the clock. My bag that goes with me everywhere because I have no one to watch it for me while I go pee. Sitting and eating alone. Listening to conversations. My heart has started to become anxious these days. The longer my layovers are and the longer my waits for trains are, I find that I can't sit still. I can't wait for it to be over. The last few times I've gone to pick people up at the airport, I've thought, "I am so relieved that it is not me traveling today--coming or going."

For me, I think that marriage would be more like a traveling partner. Someone to at least share the moment with. Someone to just sit next to while we wait. Someone to make decisions with. I've realized why the end of the movie "Into the Wild" keeps me staring at the screen long after the credits have finished. The main character has done all this stuff, met tons of different people, seen all these places, experienced so many things, learned endless lessons, but in the end he writes, "happiness only real when shared."

I've been happiest when I've gotten to share the things I love with someone I love. A bike ride. A sunset. A concert. An evening walk. A 12 hour drive. The sea breeze as the night comes. A terribly long layover because of a canceled flight. A funeral. A terrible job. Cheap coffee...

Maybe we'll learn... Maybe I'll learn that it's not just some grand equation. Rather, it's a simple contentment just to be beside someone you love. To share in the moments where memories are made and dreams are found.